It’s a well-known fact that parenting is one of the most challenging jobs, which starts the moment we become parents. Raising a child has always been difficult, despite the fact that societies have been constantly developing. All those benefits and breakthroughs that have been made in order to help us have easier lives have also brought about many new challenges that we have to deal with on a daily basis.
Still, one thing has remained unchanged and that is the goal of parenting. We all want our kids to become independent, honest and dependable individuals, who will, hopefully, one day be great parents themselves. So, what is it that we can do to help them become such people?
Resourcefulness is vital
Kids should not be guided strictly all the way towards achieving their goals. They need coaches, rather than controllers, so don’t lay it all out for them. Allowing them the opportunity to make their choices will help them become more resourceful and independent in the future. Needless to say, their choices will sometimes lead to failures, but you shouldn’t disapprove of those moments, but encourage them to find a way to improve next time.
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Dealing with the Internet
One of the most common problems parents are facing at the moment is their kids’ overexposure to the Internet. While it can be safely assumed that most jobs in the future will rely heavily on digital technology, don’t push your kid into coding from an early age. Instead, allow them some time to be entertained, but also point out the valuable and productive aspects, too. Those older kids might be surprised to find that there are online platforms like Thinkswap that could turn out to be invaluable for their academic and professional career at a later stage.
Lead by example
Most of parenting is done without us being aware of it. Namely, kids learn how to behave by watching us behave in all sorts of situations. Unless we show them how to be resilient and resourceful, we simply can’t expect them to wake up one day and become such people. Sometimes we just need to act, but there are also opportunities where we need to explain our actions to kids. Encourage them to ask you about your actions and decisions and provide honest answers.
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They need encouragement
No kid will ever become self-confident if we don’t instil such behaviour in them. Parents should encourage their kids to pursue their goals. If they learn to accept occasional setbacks and failures, but remain focused on achieving their goals, they’ll be much more likely to become successful at whatever they decide to do in the future. The important thing, however, is to choose those goals carefully and realistically. Otherwise, the inevitable failure will lead to frustration and might damage their self-confidence forever.
Avoid putting too much pressure on them
Nobody can work under constant pressure, so don’t expect your kids to be able to manage it successfully over longer periods. They often want to achieve some goal just to make you happy and would feel great disappointment if they didn’t succeed. Never put such burden on their shoulders. Instead, sit down and have a chat about what they would like to do and elicit from them why they think it’s important. By asking the right questions, you’ll be able to help them reach their own conclusions about the strategy they need to employ to reach those goals.
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Don’t be too lenient
Very often, parents are too permissive, either because they don’t have enough time to spend with their kids or some other reason. This is a major problem because kids thrive on clear rules that don’t change on a whim. They need to feel safe and in control, with a clear idea of what is acceptable and what is not. Only then can they assume responsibility for their actions and become more independent.
Our job as parents is, by all means, difficult, but at the same time, it can be the most rewarding thing we do, depending on the approach we take. So, devote enough time to your kids and be their real-life coach instead of giving that role to someone else.